As the girls and I were lying in my bed this morning (because they sneak in like ninjas during the night), we were looking at old pictures on my blog. I couldn't help but be so grateful that I have those memories and stories for them. Plus, it immortalizes how hilarious I can be. It sent me longing for more stories in a new chapter; times that they can look back on and a place they can have their story (and mine) told.
And what better time than now. 4th of July. 2014. My favorite holiday of the year. A day when I no longer looked, or felt like, I had the life sucked out of me.
Let's take a look back at the 4th of July, 2013.
Total life suck-age happening. This day was one of the worst days of my life. Everything around me was crumbling and at the time, I didn't know why. Little did I know what the year ahead would bring, and little did I know that I would have to fight like hell to make it to the other side.
But make it, I did. And I know that life will be full of trials, but I made it through this one. And I'm pretty proud of myself.
As much as I wanted to die and as much as I wanted to spend day after day in bed, I woke up every day and made it through.
I loved my children. I sought a deeper faith. I cried. I laughed.
I was depressed. I sought help.
I learned. I grew up.
I cussed. I prayed. I made mistakes. I asked for forgiveness.
But most importantly, God somehow gave me the strength to never, ever, ever abandon or neglect my kids.
He allowed me to be their mom and to continue raising and loving them.
I got out of bed for them.
There are days I still do.
But it's mainly to get them milk. Always. Wanting. Milk.
So let the new chapter of my life begin.
May the life never be sucked out of me again. And if it is, may I fight like hell once again.
And as for this guy. Married? No. Parents of the most beautiful children you've ever laid eyes on? Yes. We are forging through uncharted territories. We both hope and pray that no matter what, we can put our feelings aside and be there for our kids. Spend time together. And not the awkward time where we ignore each other the entire time. Like real time, as a family.
These three deserve that, don't they?
So here's to a new chapter, a life that is different than I had once dreamed, and to new beginnings.
Oh, and to these three. My heart and soul. My reason.
My sweet family on the 4th of July, 2014.
For when I am old and senile and reminiscing, I can find a year's worth of pictures here.