Thursday, January 8, 2009

A Moment

Last night I went to my singly lamp-lit bedroom; my room lit by my favorite lamp I've had since college. I went to put down my glass of water when the sight of my nightstand made my stomach drop and I asked myself this question,

Will my life ever be this simple again?

Not that things are completely simple. The past 3 1/2 years spent in Chicago have been anything but, however I've learned to enjoy the simplicities of day-to-day life. A simple bedtime routine of cuddling up with a good novel. Occasionally listening to my iPod as I write in my journal. Snuggling up while watching a TV show or a movie. No strings and no attachments apply. 

The impending transition of my life hit me all at once. It scared me. I knew in that instant that nothing has ever stayed the same and nothing will ever be the same. What will happen when two becomes three? I think about all of the changes and challenges that have been presented over the past few years and I realized that they've made me who I am...they've made me more into the person I am meant to be. I know that this change will be the same. It will make me become more of who I am.

I struggle everyday to live life in the moment. Not living in the past and not worrying about the future. I try to truly savor every moment for what it is. And so I lay in bed last night realizing this. This is where I'm meant to be, lying in bed curled up with a great book. When the next transition arrives there will be a new normal that is more beautiful and complete. It will be just where I'm meant to be.


Dara said...

Aww I remember that lamp AND the alarm clock. You'll find your new normal, don't worry.

Jayspee27 said...

I loved that lamp!!
Morg, your thoughts and words have brought me to tears. You have transitioned through this life beautifully. You are an amazing woman, and I have loved every moment of watching you become the woman and wife you are today. I look forward to watching you become the amazing mother you will be. I love you and miss you more than you could ever know. I'm just so proud of you.

Gena said...

That is so true. Your normal now will no doubt be a fond memory, especially on those nights where you just want to be alone on a date with Jason. The normal that is yet to come is going to make your heart ache at the thought of ever being without it. That little baby is going to be such a blessing to you both. Hard sometimes, but so worth it. Love you.

Joe and Talsie said...

What a perfect description of just how I feel about this stage of life. (Cute lamp by the way!)

Mandy said...

Morg, I felt exactly the way you do. I wondered if I would ever just get to be "me"again. What you'll find once the baby comes is a better version of yourself. You will be superwoman, a proud, loving, strong and happy mom. And you'll still get to read, I'm reading two novels right now. Life will be so much better when she gets here, trust me!