Wednesday, August 19, 2009

She's a Bo0b Girl

Our original programming has been interrupted for a word from our sponsor.

Me: Hey, Chloe!
Chloe: She actually didn't say anything. Just smiled. It's her normal reaction when she sees me. She never, EVER, looks at me like I'm crazy.

Me: I'm blogging about you today!
Chloe: Really? Sounds exciting!

Me: The title of the post is "She's a Bo0b Girl"
Chloe: Mom, I don't know about this...

Chloe, listening intently while I read the post.

Chloe: I can't believe you'd write that about me!!

Chloe: I'm gonna erase that post whether you like it or not!
Me: I outsmarted you, little girl, already saved!!


Now, back to our original broadcast.

Chloe is a fan of the bo0bs. She's relentless in her search. She'll go down the shirt, up the sleeve, and if she can't find 'em that way, she'll find them through your shirt. If you've got them, and you've held her, then you know exactly what I'm talking about. Young. Old. Large. Small. Perky. Saggy. Real. Fake. (Has she felt a pair? I will never reveal.) She does not discriminate. I'm so proud. 

I wasn't going to say anything about this obsession. At least not publicly. And most babies do have this innocent obsession. It's actually very, very sweet. But I have to talk about it because of the following story. 

On our flight back from Oklahoma, we sat next to a nice lady with a deep v-neck shirt on. When we took off, I gave Chloe her bottle and burped her...which of course ended up in a river of spit-up down my back. 

Strike one with my neighbor. 

After the bottle, she cried for a while and then pooped her pants. 

Great!! Stinky, strike number two. 

I grabbed my stuff and ran to the restroom. Much to the dismay of our entire flight, I could not fit both of us in the bathroom and bend over to change her diaper. I had to leave the door open with my rear end hanging out the back. My apologies to all passengers on board. Totally humiliated, I went back to my seat. 

As for strike number three? 

While I was putting away my stuff, Chloe proceeded to lean over very closely to the neighbor and pull down her sleeve. The stretchy, deep v-necked shirt gave very easily, exposing her bra; a red, lacy, see-through bra. I could have died. SHE could have died!! After apologizing profusely, I knew there was nothing I could do to undo the damage that was done. So I faced forward, and put my bre@st-baring daughter to sleep. I chuckled under my breath the whole way home. My humiliated neighbor, however, did not. 

5 comments:

Gena said...

I think she might turn her back on me. Nothin to grab, my dear. For sure no red see through lace.....

Allison said...

You had me laughing out loud. She is just so adorable, Morgandi!

Lea Liz said...

too funny!!! It can be a little embarassing I know! Brody is quite the boob man and when he wants it he goes for it!

OK Chick said...

HAHA! Great story. Chloe sure makes traveling exciting.

Tamra said...

Priceless! I guess the moral of the story is to choose carefully which occasions call for a red lace number?