Monday, October 19, 2009

...So I Prayed, Like Really Prayed

I feel like I need to change the title of my blog to one of the following:

My Life in Diapers
The Poo Diaries
Confessions of a Diaper Changer
The Blow Out Blog

If you're not a mom or you have a weak stomach, you might just want to stop reading now.

I thought I had that daughter. The daughter that in her life as an infant maybe had five blow outs. Literally, I think I could count them on one hand. I thought I was sooooooo lucky. Diapers were a breeze. 

Things have changed.

For the past few weeks, I think I change on average, five to seven blown out diapers weekly. And these diapers aren't just bad diapers. They are the worst diapers I have ever seen. Not only is the diaper completely soaked in poo, but her pants, shirts, socks, and anything else she's wearing are covered as well. 

The other day, I suspected a blow out, took her to her room and started to take care of business. Once I realized the damage, I prayed. 

That's right, I prayed about a diaper. Let me repeat. I prayed about a diaper. I had no other option.

I didn't pray that God would make me a bird. I didn't pray that God would make the poo disappear. I didn't even pray that God would make the blow outs stop. I prayed that God would give me direction in changing the diaper. I didn't know how to attack it. How do I take off her pants without getting poo all over her legs and socks? How do I take off her onesie without getting poo all the way up her back, on her arms, in her hair? How do I take off this diaper without getting poo all over her changing table, in such a way that throwing it away is the only option? How do I get out of this with my dignity, my charm, my grace?

My prayer was answered, because I'm still here to speak about this today. Dignity, charm, grace? No longer intact.

But the great thing is...the only redeeming factor is that you get to call your friend, and eventually your conversation turns to diapers. The friend you used to talk about fashion, boys, gossip and other various things with, now discusses with you the woes of diapers. You also talk about how even after multiple hand washings, hand sanitizer squirts, and various other hand cleaning methods, your hands still smell like poo. Gross, I know. But true. 

The friend shall remain nameless. I, however, have outed myself.

But it's worth it. For this little squirt. Okay, maybe I shouldn't call her Squirt. Too descriptive right now.


Michelle said...

buy a size bigger diaper, it helps!

Tamra said...

You're a better woman than I. I'm pretty sure I'll be praying for God to make me a bird....

Love you and your poopy girl!

Mandy said...

Hmm, I have no idea who you're talking about. I for one, would never discuss poop on such a personal level!

Erin L. said...

We always went up a size in diapers when that happened. If that didn't work we'd switch brands.

OCdeanwife said...

Bigger size, different brands, excellent ideas! Been there, done that, sometimes while traveling with SS. . . good times, good times!

Natalie Hudkins said...

If it makes you feel any better I have a very poopy two year old. Who weighs 35lbs. and is now in size six diapers. If we are very, very, careful about his amount of dairy and juice it lessens...

Gena said...

Hmmm....I would go up a size as well. Maybe a different brand? Fewer fruits? Maybe more bananas? ;) At least you don't have to give her laxatives.