I hate the pacifier. And before I go on, I pass no judgement on any child using a pacifier. Well, maybe if they show up on the first day of kindergarten with one, but everyone else is safe. I have learned, as a mother, that passing judgement is an open invitation for the thing you judge, to happen to you. So I just don't do it. I hate the pacifier because it has caused me so much mental angst. The day I put it in her mouth, my first thought was, 'when am I going to take it away from her, how will I do it, etc?' Mental Angst.
At first I decided I would take it away at 3 months. Then we moved from Chicago to Cleveland and she was having trouble adjusting to her new environment. Paci needed. Then I got knocked up and became as sick as a dog. Paci needed. Then we weened her from the paci during the day, but she needs it to sleep at night. Paci needed. And now I've decided I'll take it away from her after Christmas. We are traveling to Oklahoma over the holiday break. 18 hours in a car without a paci? Paci needed.
But my bottom line has always been this: The day we lose all of her pacis is the day that she no longer gets it. I refuse to buy anymore of them.
Today is that day.
The past couple of days I have noticed a decrease in our paci supply. We've gone from 3, to 2, to 1. And I went to put her down for a nap this morning and couldn't find any. I've searched high and low, scrapped around, cried, curled up in a ball and cried in the corner, and I still can't find any.
My choice was this. I had to get ready for church, she needed a nap, and there was not a paci in sight. I let her cry it out. And it wasn't as bad as I thought. 15 minutes after a lot of anguished crying, she fell asleep.
So, here's where I need your help. I will inevitably end up finding one of the missing pacis. Do I tough it out? Never let her have another one again? Or do I stick with my 'after Christmas' policy.
Please give me some advice if you've ever been at this crossroads, or if you're going through it now. There is also an open invitation for you to visit me in Cleveland if you think I should take it away. We even have our guest bed in her bedroom. So you'll get to wake up with her, do a few loads of laundry, and wash our dishes. Any takers? And if you are judging me for even giving my daughter a paci in the first place, I do not want to hear from you.
Who would've ever thought a piece of plastic would give me a near heart attack? I need some support, people.
And if you were wondering, you're right. It is true that I have been doing my best Reba McEntire impression all morning.
Here's your one chance Fancy don't let me dooooowwwwn