You see, I don't have it all pulled together. We're lucky to make it to the pool on time and fully dressed. My daughter is in a swimsuit that's a little too small. I'm in a two-piece that somehow holds it all together, except for my bulging belly. I have no makeup on. My hair is in some sort of scary ponytail. And I'm usually just winging it.
But it made me think. How do people see me? Not just strangers, but my husband, my family, my friends, acquaintances. They used to just see me. But now, do they only see me as a mom? Or somehow, behind the ponytail, and the non-makeup face, do you still see that girl? The girl who is quirky. Who is reserved until you get to know her. Who loves music and art and being creative. Who loves to laugh and smile. Who is organized and yet free-spirited. Who would eat only cheeseburgers if given the choice. Who has an eclectic, yet fashionable style. Who is goofy and awkward and uncoordinated. Who is determined and stubborn and strong-willed.
A girl who just happens to be a mom now, too?
I hope that no matter how devoted I am to my family, I never forget what makes me, me. I know that I can never forget that girl. I still see her.
I still am her.
But sometimes I can't help but wonder if those around me see her too.