Sunday, November 29, 2009

The Night The Lights Went Out in Georgia

Okay, so maybe it's mid-morning. No lights have been turned out. And I live in Ohio, but whatever. I will forever consider this day, 'The Night The Lights Went Out in Georgia Day.'
I hate the pacifier. And before I go on, I pass no judgement on any child using a pacifier. Well, maybe if they show up on the first day of kindergarten with one, but everyone else is safe. I have learned, as a mother, that passing judgement is an open invitation for the thing you judge, to happen to you. So I just don't do it. I hate the pacifier because it has caused me so much mental angst. The day I put it in her mouth, my first thought was, 'when am I going to take it away from her, how will I do it, etc?' Mental Angst. 

At first I decided I would take it away at 3 months. Then we moved from Chicago to Cleveland and she was having trouble adjusting to her new environment. Paci needed. Then I got knocked up and became as sick as a dog. Paci needed. Then we weened her from the paci during the day, but she needs it to sleep at night. Paci needed. And now I've decided I'll take it away from her after Christmas. We are traveling to Oklahoma over the holiday break. 18 hours in a car without a paci? Paci needed.

But my bottom line has always been this: The day we lose all of her pacis is the day that she no longer gets it. I refuse to buy anymore of them.

Today is that day.

The past couple of days I have noticed a decrease in our paci supply. We've gone from 3, to 2, to 1. And I went to put her down for a nap this morning and couldn't find any. I've searched high and low, scrapped around, cried, curled up in a ball and cried in the corner, and I still can't find any.

My choice was this. I had to get ready for church, she needed a nap, and there was not a paci in sight. I let her cry it out. And it wasn't as bad as I thought. 15 minutes after a lot of anguished crying, she fell asleep. 

So, here's where I need your help. I will inevitably end up finding one of the missing pacis. Do I tough it out? Never let her have another one again? Or do I stick with my 'after Christmas' policy. 

Please give me some advice if you've ever been at this crossroads, or if you're going through it now.  There is also an open invitation for you to visit me in Cleveland if you think I should take it away. We even have our guest bed in her bedroom. So you'll get to wake up with her, do a few loads of laundry, and wash our dishes. Any takers? And if you are judging me for even giving my daughter a paci in the first place, I do not want to hear from you.

Who would've ever thought a piece of plastic would give me a near heart attack? I need some support, people.

And if you were wondering, you're right. It is true that I have been doing my best Reba McEntire impression all morning.

Here's your one chance Fancy don't let me dooooowwwwn

8 comments:

Tara Hicks said...

Having gone through this with one already, I say be flexible. If you find a paci stick it in a safe place just in case. See how it goes. A sane mom is much more important than "sticking to your guns" at everyone's expense. And don't feel guilty either way. Go with your gut. You know your girl! Good luck!

myra said...

I agree, do what you need to do. Especially since you're pregnant and need Chloe to sleep and sleep good and easily. I'm with you on the paci's, I didn't want Morgandy to have one and then they (meaning the hospital nurses) convinced me she needed one. When I finally took it away (when she was 2) it was a bit traumatic for all involved and started some major nighttime battles. I wish I had been a bit more flexible with her (and started to wean her earlier from it).

Bottom line, you know what's best for you and Chloe, whatever it is, do that, even if it changes.

OCdeanwife said...

No help here. Sorry! If you will remember Paige sucked her thumb till she was 7 years old! I wish I could have taken it away from her, but she is 13 now and not in counseling, so I guess it's all good!

Gena said...

1. A paci is better than a thumb. 2. I don't know a kid who doesn't take a paci. 3. I convinced my sis-in-law to give her one month old one. They're loving life now. It's so easy to get rid of when she's a little older, and they can understand that you're going to take the thing away. Just don't wait until she's over two. That's when it's hard to say goodbye. Just my two cents. Never caused any problems over here, other than the pain of constantly losing and buying new ones. :)

Michelle said...

I took Cooper's away at about 13 months, after we came back from Colorado, I'd say if she isn't having trouble not having it, I wouldn't go back. He didn't miss it at all, he may have found a few strays, but I just took them away, and it wasn't ever a big deal!Oh and he was attached to it 24/7, or it was attached to him, cause he loved it.

Danielle Smith said...

I agree with the other posters, do what you need to do. I found it easier to take the paci away when I lost them all. My son ended up not even missing it but if you end up needing to give her one that is ok. I think your smart to wait until after your Christmas trip to make it your deadline but if you find a paci between now and then and she seems to need it don't feel guilty for giving it to her. Good Luck!!! p.s. I wouldn't feel guilty about letting her cry it out either. we tried that method with our son and it was the greatest thing we did but I understand that it is hard to do and is not for everyone. Just remember your a great mom and your daughter loves you.

Tamra said...

Not having been through this yet, I don't have any room to talk. But I do remember someone telling me how they "gave their paci's to babies need" (aka: the trash...but what did the kid know?) and someone else telling me how they weaned the older sibling when the new one came along and it was a "baby thing" to need a paci, and the older sibling was now a big boy/girl.

Shelly Collins said...

We poked a hole in Wilder's pacifer then eventually cut off the tip and still let him have it. Since it didn't have the same sucking sensation he lost interest in it. We just told him it was broken and we couldn't fix it. Kinda mean, but it worked!