Wednesday, January 20, 2010

10-month old + Doctor visit = Fun*


I remember the days when doctor appointments were easy, dare I say somewhat relaxing. It was just you, maybe your spouse accompanied, and it was easy. It didn't matter if your appointment was an hour late, if you had to wait in the exam room for 30 minutes...it was just you. You can handle you.

You can't handle a 10-month old.

Chloe is scared of doctors. Any doctor. Her doctor. Your doctor. Your dog's doctor. But especially my doctor. She spots a white coat and her face turns red, her bottom lip puckers out, her eyes well up with tears, fear overtakes her, and the meltdown commences. I don't know how to break it to her that her dad has one of those white coats. Maybe one of these days she'll be able to handle the news.

My OB/Gyn, we'll refer to her as Dr. C, is wonderful. She's a petite little woman and is as sweet and bubbly as she can possibly be. Chloe is okay with Dr. C and holds it together until I lie down on the exam table. The second I hit the table the mentioned meltdown takes place from her stroller. Since I'm now going every week, Dr. C suggested I hold her during my appointments. This has proven to be more fun* than I could possibly imagine. She straddles my waist while Dr. C listens to the baby's heartbeat. Chloe just stares at my belly and tries to figure out where that rhythmic sound is coming from. Then she helps Dr. C hold the tape measure while she measures my belly.

But the real fun* happens when I am checked to see if any progress is being made. MEN, STOP READING NOW. Nothing spells fun* like being checked. Ouch! But it's really fun* when your daughter is lying down on your stomach, you are staring at each other face to face, and she starts blowing raspberries on your face because she thinks it's play time, and you're trying not to giggle because it makes it makes the exam all the more painful.

What's even more fun*? When your doctor tells you you're barely dilated and you have a ways to go.

The only redeeming factor? I lost a couple of pounds this week. Don't worry, I had a cheeseburger after my appointment to put those two pounds back on. We wouldn't want to be losing any weight, now would we?

*to be read with ultra-sarcastic sarcasm

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