Wednesday, October 13, 2010
The day that I found out I was having a girl with my first pregnancy, was the day that my mind began racing. How was I to raise a daughter? Am I equipped enough? Do I have the right tools, the right mentality, the right amount of faith, the appropriate amount of shoes so that she won't think the only thing in life that matters are shoes?
Well I don't know if I always do the right thing, but I know that I love my daughters and feel thoroughly compelled to raise them the best way I know how. And really, it's only by the grace of God that I feel like I have moments of success.
I had one of those moments last week.
I had my first one-on-one date with my firstborn.
This past Friday, was our special day. We went to the hair salon to have her hair trimmed, and then we went to the mall. And this is when it really got exciting. The mall might not be that exciting for adults. But for a one-on-one date with your mom? Pretty exciting.
We hit Forever21 first. I told her that we were only going to look at fall trends (she has to learn about fashion somehow), but in the end she convinced me to buy a couple of shirts for my birthday on Sunday. (My 30th birthday................................okay. I can breathe again.) Then we went to the playground in the mall and played for awhile. I decided it was time for us to leave when she tried to rip a monkey backpack off of a little boy's back. After the near-thievery incident, we went to get a kid's meal from Chick-fil-a in the food court. This is where the fun happened. It was her first time on an escalator, and you too would've gone up and down the escalators about 10 times if you heard the squeals of laughter coming from the sweet girl's mouth. After the security guard asked us to quit playing on the escalators (I told him that Chloe made me do it) we hit the food court. We got a kid's meal, a sprite, and an ice cream cone. NOT a normal meal for this little girl. Maybe a normal meal for me, but not her. I didn't think she could be any happier than she was on the escalators, but this girl hit a Nirvana-esque state when we sat in the car booths (she loves cars), she found a book in her kid's meal (she loves books), and I let her consume nothing but ice cream and sprite (she's strangely possessive with sprite).
I hit my Nirvana-esque state when I saw the joy on her face, and how proud she felt for this special time together.
And in the clarity of that moment, I realized something. There's nothing better than doing special things with your mom. I'm almost 30 years old, and it still makes me giddy. It's exactly the thing I missed most when we were away from home. And it finally dawned on me that it's just as much, if not more fun, when you're the mom. It's beyond special.
It was one of the best days of my life.
And I'm so thankful that one of these days, God-willing, I'll get to treat Stella to the same thing. I can hardly wait for her to pick out shirts for me from forever21, rip a monkey off a kid's back, ride the escalator, get in trouble for it, and then eat nothing but ice cream and sprite for lunch.
I just love these girls so much. And I love being a mom. The blessings of motherhood continue to reveal themselves. And yes there are trials, and yes, I don't have all the answers. But it's days like this that charge me to continue to do my very best.
I don't think I could be more blessed.