And I almost titled this post, "Out with the Old, In with the Shoe." Embarrassing? Cute? Cliche? I don't know. And I probably shouldn't admit that I almost titled this with that name, but I tend to spill the beans on this thing, so my apologies....for the faux title and the over-sharing.
I know what you're thinking. "Why does this lady have a picture of running shoes. And is that a couch? Did she put her shoes on the couch? Has she no shame?"
I was just trying to take a quick picture and that's the best I could do.
I got a new pair of running shoes for Christmas. I know you're sooooooooo jealous. However, I was so excited. I have needed a new pair of running shoes for about two years. It was getting to the point where I felt like I was running on pancakes. My red shoes had just about had it. And who can blame them? In these shoes I have partly trained for a marathon. I was half-way through my training when I found out I was pregnant. And then I did a lot of slow running and a lot of walking. After I gave birth, I contemplated training for another marathon. Then I found out I was pregnant. Back to the slow running and walking. I have thought about 'contemplating' running another marathon, but I'm terrified I'll get pregnant just contemplating the idea. They have graced the streets of Chicago, Cleveland and my home in Oklahoma. They have seen me gain weight, lose weight and have helped keep me sane during this super transitional time in my life. I fell in love with running in these shoes. And as stupid as it sounds...I felt really sad about sending them to the trash can.
I guess it just made me think about where I'd been in those shoes. The lessons I learned and the person I've become. It was just me and Jason when I bought those shoes. And now I'm constantly referred to as Chloe and Stella's mom. Crazy. Transitions are usually never easy. Change, for me is disconcerting. And as I put on my new shoes, I couldn't help but think about the places they will take me.
I feel a sense of newness in this year. And while it has been busy and crazy, and I feel like I just now have time to sit down and reflect (a.k.a. write a ridiculously long blog post), I hope that I can continue to learn and grow and go where God wants me to be. As a control freak, I find it hard to let go and trust, but that's what I'm trying to do. I hope that I can transition from 'living away from home' to 'being back home' more seamlessly. And I hope that in my life that is forever surrounded by shoes and my love (and now my daughter's love) of them, that I can be someone that is proud to walk in them. And maybe someday, my daughter's would be proud to walk in them too.
And before I wrap this up, I should probably admit that my old pair of shoes are still sitting in my closet. They never made it to the trash can.
But they really should.
You know they stink to high heaven. It's worse than a High School football locker room.