It is my sweet husband's birthday today. And because he is such a wonderful husband, and in celebration of another year with him, I gave him the most fantastic birthday present this morning.
Are you ready?
I gave him....
Drum roll, please....
A black eye.
That's right. I gave him a black eye this morning. I've been having crazy dreams lately and I had an especially crazy dream last night. For some insane reason, in the middle of my dream, I did a one-two-punch on his face in the wee hours of the morning. This particular punch can only be described as a swift punch to the face, followed by an elbow straight to the eye. And this punch was executed with quick and ninja-like movements. And while I'm impressed with my agility and speed, I feel so bad that it had to happen to husband. At least I could've saved it for a heroic moment, but instead, I saved it for my husband. On his birthday.
So here's to hoping that his birthday gets better. I mean, it has to get better. You can only go up after being hit by your wife while you lie defenseless in your sleep. And I hope that the present I have for him isn't a gift that starts with this joke. (And you know I love a bad joke)...
"Hey, Jason. You know what's worse than one black eye?, " while revving myself for a super-spectacular one-two-three punch.
In all seriousness. This guy deserves the world. He is an awesome husband. An awesome dad. And he works incredibly hard to support this family.
And in spite of my celestially abusive behavior, he's my man.
Happy Birthday, Jason! I love you.