Thursday, March 31, 2011


Yesterday, my little world came crashing down. On the kitchen floor that is.

Brace yourselves.

My coffee pot broke.

Take a few minutes to cry if you need to.

I pride myself on being a pretty easy going person. Even keel if you will. This temperament has been put to the test by my daughters and especially the two-year old and for the most part, I always keep my cool. But the one thing that sent me over the edge is the coffee pot. I love the routine of making and drinking coffee every morning. It's my thing. And it didn't happen this morning and I feel a little off kilter. And a little grumpy from the caffeine headache.

So if anyone wants to send a coffee maker my way, I would appreciate it. I can't bring myself to buy a new one. I keep thinking it will reappear on my kitchen counter.

When I ask myself why this happened. I only have one answer. Karma. It broke while Jason was trying to kill a nice little house spider that kept poking its head out from the window sill above the kitchen sink. My poor little coffee pot was knocked to the ground during the battle. And unfortunately the spider won the battle. It was still there this morning poking its little head out. And my coffee pot lost.

So don't go killing God's little innocent creatures. Because you might lose a coffee pot in return. And your sanity. And I don't need any help in that department.

Thursday, March 24, 2011

Hypotenuse for the everyday toddler.

In geometry, a hypotenuse is the longest side of a right-angled triangle, the side opposite the right angle. The length of the hypotenuse of a right triangle can be found using the Pythagorean theorem, which states that the square of the length of the hypotenuse equals the sum of the squares of the lengths of the other two sides.


I was putting away laundry the other day, when I rounded the corner to find this scene.
Except that it wasn't a bear on top of the potty which was on top of the coffee table. It was Chloe on top of the potty which was on top of the coffee table. And I guess every girl needs to sit on top of the potty, on top of the coffee table with her puppy, cheerios, a bottled water and a book to get the full potty training experience. Because that's exactly how I found her.

The second I rounded the corner, I gasped. Yanked her off the potty and disciplined her. And then I hid in the closet and laughed hysterically for about a minute straight.

Which is how I spend most of my time parenting. In the closet, laughing no less.

What was the first thing that came to my mind while pondering what just happened? How I would keep this from happening again? Why was the potty on top of the coffee table? Why am I such a loser parent? When am I really going to begin potty training? Why is my daughter such a weirdo? Why am I such a weirdo? Why am I in the closet again?


All I could think about was my 8th grade Geometry class. Mrs. Rosenbaum. Studying the hypotenuse. And our teacher showing us a picture a student had drawn to help aid in memorizing exactly what hypotenuse means. It was a picture of a guy. On the toilet. On top of a mountain which represented a right triangle. And for some reason, this 8th grader's drawing of a guy using the bathroom tied into the definition of hypotenuse. And she said, "Look at this picture. It's a high, pot, in use. Get it? Get it? A high-pot-in-use. Hypotenuse."

And I distinctly remember thinking what a waste of 50 minutes this Geometry class was.

I will NEVER use it again, I thought.

Well, I guess it wasn't such a waste.

Except for the fact that the only thing I remember from that Geometry class and any math class in general, was a picture of a guy. Sitting on the toilet. On top of a mountain that represented a hypotenuse.

And now I have a real-life example of a toddler who apparently has equated her potty training experience to that of a high-pot-in-use.

Thanks Chlo, for bringing a little education to this house.

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Days Like Today

I love days like today. Warm weather. Windows open. No television. Regina Spektor playing. Patty Griffin playing. Ryan Adams playing.

I love days like today because my eldest is in her own little world in the back yard.

And I love days like today, because it's 4:30 and in spite of my attempts to wake my youngest up from her nap, she's still snoozing. And so is her beloved baby doll.

And I love days like today because I'm caught up on the cleaning. On the laundry. On a couple projects. On work.
And it feels nice to finely be caught up a little bit.

And I love today. Because my daughter is begging me to come and play with her and her wooden monkey (don't ask). And she wants me to "sit on car. Push you." And so I'll probably go and let her push me around the back porch. (And yes, she is as strong as an ox.)

And I love today. Simply because it's today. And it's warm. And the windows are open. And I'm with my babies. And the music is playing. And my daughter will soon be pushing me in her toy car. And it's going to get real interesting when I try to get my tushy on that tiny thing.

And there's no place else I'd rather be.

Except for maybe Hawaii. But that's not happening anytime soon.

So... home is just fine with me.

Thursday, March 17, 2011

One of the reasons I love Stella.

I was looking through pictures from Stella's 1-Year Birthday Parties. And yes, I mean parties. 5 of them. We love to celebrate our girls, if you can't tell.

Even though it was her day. And even though she could've eaten the entire cake by herself, sending her into a sugar tailspin never seen before.
She shared her cake with me. And you know I kind of like to eat anything I can get my hands on.
I love this sweet girl. And her sweet little spirit. And her capacity to share her cake with her momma. Or daddy as she has called me for the past two weeks. (Has anyone else had this happen to them? She will call me momma again someday, right?)
But what topped it off was the kiss I got afterward. She basically licked my lips. And she might've been licking the icing off my lips, but I'm counting it as a kiss.
So make that two of the many reasons I love Stella.

Kisses and cake.

And her chunky arms.

Make that three.

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

How my sister and my daughter celebrate.

I have been out of touch with my blog for a few days now, and I'm just getting caught up on everyone's blogs. I found this on my sister's blog and I'm crying. Because it's so cute. So funny. So touching.

Go here to see.

Friday, March 11, 2011

Never Wake a Sleeping Baby.

If this picture does not prove that I will go to great lengths to:

1. Drink my beloved protein shake every morning, and

2. Never, ever, ever, under any circumstances wake my sleeping children

Then I don't know what will.

The other morning I was stuck in quite the perplexing situation. I really, really, really wanted a protein shake. To the point of almost turning on the blender inside, knowing that it would wake my, toddlers, whatever.

Instead, I used my ever-shrinking brain cells and devised a fantastic plan.

I decided to take it outside on the back porch.

So I blended my protein shake. At 6 AM in the morning. On the back porch. In my pajamas. In the cold. In the silence (sorry neighbors). On top of the girls' training potty.

And yes, potty training is just going so well that it is now a play toy in our back yard.


Happy Friday!

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Birthday Girl.

My beautiful daughter turns two today. I can't believe it's been two years. In many ways, it feels like yesterday I was holding her for the first time. I honestly can't remember what my heart felt like without her in my life. As much as she's grown over the past two years, I feel like I've grown more. I never understood what my mom meant when she would tell me that I taught her more than she taught me. But I get it. And I feel that way.

I love you with my whole heart, Chloe Starr. No matter what. You are loved.

Happy 2nd Birthday, sweet girl!

Tuesday, March 8, 2011

My one year olds.

Today is the last day that I can say that I have two one-year olds.
And I'm a little sad.
This past month has been a month that I dreamt about since I knew that I was pregnant with Stella.
All I could think was, "how fun will it be when I, for one month, can say that I have two one-year olds?"
And the month has come and almost gone.
It's been an exciting month.
A challenging month.
But ultimately, a very fulfilling month.
All I can say is-
I love my one-year olds.
Probably more than they'll ever know.

Monday, March 7, 2011

Kids These Days

You invite your dear friend and her daughters (which happen to be your daughter's dear friends) over, and instead of playing together, they talk on their play cell phones the entire time.

I mean look at them. All three little goobers on their phones.

And look at this little sweetie pie. On her phone. Texting I can only assume.
Don't they know what we used to go through? We carried around 20 lb phones that were larger than doberman pinschers. And even if we did want to call our friends, we couldn't really do so because no one else had a gigantic cell phone. We had to page them. And even if we did get a hold of a friend on a cell phone, we would have to walk up hill (both ways, I might add) to find any sort of reception. And you better believe that when we did actually reach a friend, we didn't spend our time with them talking on the phone to someone else.

And now, kids with their tiny cell phones and millions of friends and busy schedules and 4G networks and excellent reception and data plans...

Can't they just learn to talk to the friends they're with?

And yes, we currently house three play cell phones. One is unique and two are exactly the same.

Since we only have three cell phones and Stella is the baby, she had to use a pretend remote control. She didn't care. Just as long as she fit in.

Kids these days.

Do they know what he used to have to do to fit in?

I'm not really sure what the answer to that question is, but I'm sure it involves something uphill (both ways).

Sunday, March 6, 2011


Chloe's finally decided that little sisters are good for something.

Friday, March 4, 2011

I Hate Allergies for Two Reasons

And two reasons alone.

1. Jason's snoring.

2. This little girl.

The runny nose. Watery eyes. Breathing treatments. Croupy cough. Strident breathing. Benadryl. Tylenol. Steriods. No sleep. Barely eating. General miserableness.

It's a little heartbreaking.

And when the doctor said she might have to use an inhaler at some point.

My watery eyes began.

But he looked at me and said, "You do what you have to do. If she uses one, it will build character."

And I'm not really sure whose character he was referring to. Mine or hers. Probably mine.

But I know one thing that does not build my character. In fact, it makes me into a sleep-deprived crazy woman.

And that's point number one.

Needless to say, the Benadryl is flowing at our house.

Welcome back to Oklahoma.