Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Britney Spears Parenting 101

I would like to think that as a mother, I teach my children well. Especially in the moral department. I really do try to teach and show them good morals.

I had to think twice about what I was teaching my girls when I was on my way home from the office the other day.

While in the car after dragging the girls to the office to get a few things finished up, Chloe said from the backseat...

"I want beer."

"You want what, Chlo?"

"Beer. I want beer."

"You want WHAT?" I ask with sweat beginning to drip down my face.

"Beer." Now crying, "I want BEER. I waaaaaaaaaaaaannnnnnnnnt BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEER."

And this is the point when I almost wrecked the car. Almost fainted. Almost had a heart attack. I stared crying. Started questioning. Started wracking my brain. I began to question my moral education. My mothering. Everything. And then the worst thought of all occurred when I thought, 'this is what Britney Spears' kids must ask for. They probably ask for beer. In the world of parenting I'm equal to Britney Spears. I guess one of the girls should just hop in my lap while I'm driving if this is the parenting road my kids and I are headed down.'

When we were at a stoplight I turned around and looked at Chloe. Through her tears and through her beer tantrum, I finally saw what she was pointing at.

In her bag, was this...

A teddy beer. That she stole from the office. So while we're not 100% on our morals, hence the thievery, at least she's not asking for beer.

She only asks for her (stolen) teddy beer.

Thursday, April 7, 2011

Guilty Face Strikes Again

After my workout this morning, I went to pick up the girls in the Childcare room.

Chloe ran to me immediately, showing off the toy she was playing with.

Stella was in the high chair.

In trouble.

Her hair was a mess.

She looked like she had been crying.

She was wearing her Guilty Face.

I looked at the teacher with a bewildered look on my face, and she said, "Oh, man. Stella was something else today. She had to sit in the high chair most of the time because she was kissing all the boys."

I didn't move for about five seconds. And then I just leaned over, put my head in my hands and started laughing. I pulled her out of the high chair and smothered her with kisses.

My nearly 14-month old was terrorizing every boy there with her kisses. What am I going to do with this girl?

So remember those candles I asked you so kindly to light in my last post, strike a match and keep those babies burning.

Thanks again.

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Bunny, Guilty Face and the Conspirator

If you want to see a face full of guilt, look no further.

I present to you, my daughter, who I now call,

"Guilty Face"

While she and her sister were supposed to be napping, the little stinker took down one of the picture frames from her wall.

Disassembled it.

Threw the picture on the floor.

And proceeded to pelt her bunny with the frame.

And I'd like to present to you daughter number two, who I now call,

Because I know, like only a mother knows, that this was Conspirator's idea and that she convinced Guilty Face to take action against her bunny.

And Conspirator tried to play it off by yelling, "Oh no! What happened?" when she went to check out the scene of the crime.

Nice cover-up.

These girls are up to no good, I tell you. No good.

Pretty soon they're going to be sneaking out at night to meet their friends at "Sesame Street Live."

You can start lighting candles for Guilty Face, Conspirator and they're very helpless parents now.


Friday, April 1, 2011


Sometimes I wonder about the amount of candidness and frankness that we have with one another. How often do we give blanket answers, blanket statements, blanket implications; like, I'm fine, I'm doing really well, things are great, I love being a mom all the time.

I met someone, a fellow mom, who was so frank and candid about her experiences; from being pregnant, to postpartum depression, to surviving the day-to-day life with her children. It was so refreshing to hear. And it made me really think about the struggles that have been presented over the last two years.

I always make jokes and remain light about the difficulties of motherhood, but it's not always the case. And if you're a mother, you know that every day presents different challenges, different struggles and different triumphs. It is difficult to transition from being a single person with no responsibilities other than yourself to becoming a mother. And for me, not once. But twice in under a year. You suddenly turn around and you have two little people who are depending on you, without a break. They are yours. You are responsible for their health, their safety, their well-being, their spirituality, their happiness. And sometimes that is overwhelming.

Some days are hard. Some days leave me in complete tears. And sometimes I wonder what I'm doing with my life. It felt like just yesterday I was living in Chicago, with my job and my husband; and I had tons of freedom. And now, I stay at home with my girls, and I'm trying to fit "me" into my life that is now consumed with diapers and sippy cups and tantrums and nap times and bath times and bed times.

I'm not complaining. Really, I'm not. There is nothing more that I want to do than raise my children. And I am very happy and satisfied with my life. I just think that it's okay to not always sugar coat and give blanket statements about your life. Life is a struggle. Parenthood is a struggle. Being pregnant is a struggle. Having a newborn is a struggle. Dealing with the crazy hormones you have postpartum is a struggle.

But it's okay. It makes you stronger. It makes you who you are. Someone who is tired and stretched-thin and sleep-deprived and often times a little crazy. But it makes you who you are.

Someone whose heart is big enough to love beyond yourself.

It makes you a mom.