Friday, April 1, 2011

Candor

Sometimes I wonder about the amount of candidness and frankness that we have with one another. How often do we give blanket answers, blanket statements, blanket implications; like, I'm fine, I'm doing really well, things are great, I love being a mom all the time.

I met someone, a fellow mom, who was so frank and candid about her experiences; from being pregnant, to postpartum depression, to surviving the day-to-day life with her children. It was so refreshing to hear. And it made me really think about the struggles that have been presented over the last two years.

I always make jokes and remain light about the difficulties of motherhood, but it's not always the case. And if you're a mother, you know that every day presents different challenges, different struggles and different triumphs. It is difficult to transition from being a single person with no responsibilities other than yourself to becoming a mother. And for me, not once. But twice in under a year. You suddenly turn around and you have two little people who are depending on you, without a break. They are yours. You are responsible for their health, their safety, their well-being, their spirituality, their happiness. And sometimes that is overwhelming.

Some days are hard. Some days leave me in complete tears. And sometimes I wonder what I'm doing with my life. It felt like just yesterday I was living in Chicago, with my job and my husband; and I had tons of freedom. And now, I stay at home with my girls, and I'm trying to fit "me" into my life that is now consumed with diapers and sippy cups and tantrums and nap times and bath times and bed times.

I'm not complaining. Really, I'm not. There is nothing more that I want to do than raise my children. And I am very happy and satisfied with my life. I just think that it's okay to not always sugar coat and give blanket statements about your life. Life is a struggle. Parenthood is a struggle. Being pregnant is a struggle. Having a newborn is a struggle. Dealing with the crazy hormones you have postpartum is a struggle.

But it's okay. It makes you stronger. It makes you who you are. Someone who is tired and stretched-thin and sleep-deprived and often times a little crazy. But it makes you who you are.

Someone whose heart is big enough to love beyond yourself.

It makes you a mom.

5 comments:

vicki said...

Seriously you should submit this to
O Christian Woman magazine! Love your blog!

Michelle said...

I 100% agree! I love being at home with my kids, and I'm so blessed to have a job that I can do in my home, but doing that is not always easy. I Would give about anything to have about 24 hours to myself....maybe that should be my bday present.....

Mandy said...

What a great post, probably your best! I agree with everything you said. I still remember when Violet was a newborn and I was crying at the movies, you put your arm around me and said, you're a great mom. That meant so much to me! You're a great mom by the way.

OCdeanwife said...

Such frankness was not the norm when my girls were little, but I felt exactly what you describe! I wish we could all be completely open with each other instead of giving those blanket answers. I just love you and your family. You are a TERRIFIC mom!!! And, though you have a hard time believing it, everything you have ever described on your blog has happened to someone else at one time or another. You're normal!! (I wish someone could have said that to me when my girls were little!)

Whitney said...

Very well said!