Tuesday, May 15, 2012

Marathon, Mother's Day Combo.

When I left off (a little over three weeks ago. I'm majorly slacking, obviously) I had finished the marathon. I believe even my fingertips were sore when I typed the last post, but I'm fully recovered now and my legs are functioning and running once again. 

And in the sake of time, I'm gonna squeeze a little Mother's Day in along with my favorite marathon moment. I promise it will come together in the end.

Mother's Day came and went without a picture or any sweet post and I'm a little bummed. It was a good day. But it was busy. It was in fact so busy, that my mom and I decided to celebrate Mother's Day another weekend with dinner and a movie. Perfect.

So back to the marathon. This  random post will come together eventually, at least I think so.

It was quite possibly one of the most challenging things I've ever done. I hit three major walls that I didn't think I could overcome. Mile 16. Mile 19. Mile 21. I had crazy thoughts running through my head like, "I don't think I can do this. Why am I doing this to myself? These people are so crazy! Why is everyone else running faster than me? Who can I pay to pick me up and take me across the finish line? I would rather go through childbirth than do this again. Why can't I feel my legs anymore? I can't believe I haven't peed my pants yet. I will never, ever, ever, ever do this again!!!!!"

But my feet just kept moving. I kept going. I kept pushing. Partly because I'm a perfectionist and I had no choice but to finish and to run as well as possible. But mainly I kept moving for my girls. I knew that they would be with my mom and sister on the course somewhere, and I absolutely, without a doubt, could not wait, and as if my life depended on it, I had to see them.

As I was finishing up the last few miles I was really keeping eye on the time. I knew that if I kept pushing myself, I would reach my goal time of 4:30:00. And when I reached the homestretch, my eye was on the clock at the finish line. I was focused in. I was starting to really move. And I knew I was going to make my time.

Do you see me in this pic? That was me, hoofing it, totally focused on finishing without another thought in my head. (And on a complete side note, there is a really, really funny story about this picture. It has nothing to do with the marathon. There's nothing "funny" happening, but what I discovered when I was editing this pic was hilarious. If you see me in person, I might tell you. I might not. Oh who am I kidding, I'll tell you. It's funny alright.)

While I was thinking "finish, finish, finish, finish, finish", I heard my mom's voice yelling, "Morgandi!"

And I looked over and saw my mom holding my girls, and they were looking straight at me wondering what in the world I was doing.

In that moment, I dropped my mantra, I didn't care if I finished before my goal, my heart melted. I couldn't move any further until I kissed those sweet faces.

And that's exactly what I did. And it was pretty awesome.

This had to be one of the best moments of my life.

And then I looked at my mom and sister (who was taking the pictures) and my mom pointed towards the finish line and yelled, "GO!" It was a good thing she did. I'm pretty sure I almost started giving an acceptance speech at that point.

So, "go" I did. And I made it under my goal.

And so I while I might not have pictures from Mother's Day last Sunday, I have this memory and these pictures. And I guess that's enough for me. Motherhood is what it is. It's great. It's challenging. And much like the questions I asked myself during the marathon, I find myself asking those same questions everyday. "Am I enough? What am I doing? Does everyone else feel like they're making a thousand mistakes?" But you just have to keep moving. Keep pushing. Keep trying.

And lucky for me, I have a mom who has made a path and who has shown me what it means to be an excellent mom. I can only hope that I'm at least half as great as what she is.

And thanks to my sister, who bathed and dressed my daughter's on Sunday so that I could sit on the couch and watch The Real Housewives of New Jersey  some educational documentary on economics or something like that.

Hope all of you had a very Happy Mother's Day!


I'm Cindi... said...

Hi Morgandi! I recently found your blog and love, love, love it. And as far as this post goes, tears seriously welled up for me. How pre-cious! I love your words, your amazing love for your girls and for your mom. Congrats on the marathon and for accomplishing your goal. So awesome!

Morgandi said...

Thank you for the sweet comment. I had a chance to briefly look at your blog and it's so cute. I love all of your pictures!