Wednesday, August 15, 2012

The Day I Told My Children There's a Dragon at the Store.

To start this little story off, let me just tell you that at 15 weeks, I am just now able to go to the store without 1.)vomiting 2.)passing out 3.)avoiding every single aisle because it has something disgusting in it, and 4.)avoiding every aisle while vomiting and trying not to pass out.

The. store. and. I. have. not. been. friends.

But recently I have braved the store partly because I can sort of tolerate it, and partly because I figure we have to have at least some food in our house. (I do have other mouths to feed, you know.)

So our first venture back was okay. The girls were sitting in the little car thing at the front of the cart and I was holding on to the cart handle for dear life. We made it through the store just fine, but by the time we made it to the dairy aisle, which is our final stop before checking out, the girls were on the brink of losing it. Every mom knows what it looks like. It starts out as an innocent hug or two, maybe an "I love you" thrown in, and then things go a little south. Hugs become a little tighter, a little more frequent, a little more aggressive, someone starts crying, etc.

So I made the only decision I knew to make at the time.

I squatted right in front of the girls, looked them in the eye, and in the quietest and most intense voice possible said, 

"Girls. You know that there is a dragon in the store that gets bad little girls who are misbehaving, right?"

And eyes that are already wide and big became really, really wide and big.

"You have to sit really, really still and be really, really quiet. If you don't the dragon's going to know where you are."

I have never seen two little girls sit so still and straight. Dairy aisle was peaceful. Checkout was a breeze.

This lasted one trip. For Stella that is. Chloe is still scared of the dragon, but Stella hoops and hollers and wants to find that dragon. Go figure.

So now I just have to bribe Stella with whatever I can. The last time we went to the store I reached for a 68 cent bag of gummy bears because I'm that cheap and that seemed to do the trick. Chloe was too afraid to eat a gummy bear in fear that it might somehow lure the dragon closer to her. Poor kid.

Not one to miss the silver lining in any situation, I think I might've found a new pregnancy craving. Gummy bears. This is very weird for a girl that doesn't like candy unless it's chocolate.

But hey, when it comes to bribery and scaring the living daylights out of your child and pleasing a pregnant woman's stomach, it's whatever works right?? 


ann said...

This is awesome. If I have children or could convey the threat of a dragon to my dog, I'll totally use it.

Carrie said...

When I was so sick in the first months I lived on gummy bears... Not sure what it is about them but they made me feel way better... Plus they're a better snack than a huge bowl if ice cream I guess

vicki said...

Great Moms think alike! When you-know-who was little, I used to tell he and his sister that every time they began to argue, the car would go backwards, making their trip crammed (and I do mean CRAMMED) in the back of a VW Super Beetle ( hey, it WAS the Super at least) even longer! It worked every time, at least for a few minutes! We do what we have to.